A couple of days ago, I had one of those dark days filled with fear and sadness. It’s harder some days to rise up. That’s the way it is living with cancer – that internal chatter is harder to shut out some days. It can come on for no reason other than a lack of sleep and some new pain, and thus starts the downward spiral. Then pile on other emotional challenges – family stuff, sick friends, work and financial challenges… it can be overwhelming. Anyway, I had one of those days earlier this week. I’m coming up for air now, but it’s not a quick bounce back ever. But here’s where I want to focus – the power of a network of people. I decided to “say it out loud” this time (I don’t every time) and the response was nothing short of amazing.
It’s interesting, of late I’ve had 4 different friends reference the concentric circles or the Ring Theory when dealing with a crisis (and they were in reference to different types of crises). So for those of you who overlap friends with me in several ways, apologies for repeating this but I do think it bears repeating. It is based on an article released in 2013 by a psychologist and her friend. The basic premise is that the person in crisis is the center circle, and the network of support (family and friends) is in concentric circles from there, “close” to “less close” as the circles expand. This is the Kvetching Order. You should only “comfort IN, and dump OUT”. Here’s the original article if you’re interested (Ring Theory). So the center can dump and share as far out as s/he likes, but if you need to scream or cry or complain or share how you feel about the crisis, you can’t do that with someone in a smaller circle (and definitely not with the center). The role you play with smaller circles is help and comfort. It’s a phenomenal article and an important look at how to best help someone in crisis. And here’s the thing, this week, I had so much clarity about this. I reached out, and I got literally hundreds of responses from you. I know many of you are scared when I’m scared, and you have your own stuff in your life, and some of my closer rings surely have their own stuff about me and how this affects them, BUT WHAT I GET FROM YOU IS ALWAYS ALWAYS COMFORT. And power, and support, and strength, and light, and love. And I am so grateful for that and for you.
I wish I could send that amount of love right back out to you, all the comments, and prayers, and uplifting words, all of it. I don’t see how that’s possible but I will do what I can. And today I want to share 2 things that really impacted me. The first, from my long long time friend Melissa, is the cover picture of the blog today. Wow. Such powerful words. And the other came from another old friend from college, Beth.
Yes yes yes. So I’m taking deeper breaths and telling myself I’m okay today. And I am sending all the love right back out to you. My numbers continue to look good even though it bounces around a little (shut up brain chatter) and other than the neuropathy, I continue to handle this protocol well. So I’m still Kicking Cancer’s Ass, a day at a time.
Now for a few fun updates… I won a trip to Mexico at an ovarian cancer fundraiser a few weeks ago (Georgia Ovarian Cancer Alliance – Shaken, Not Stirred). So we’ve got a real vacation coming up and I couldn’t be more excited! Our friends Cort and Candace joined us at the last minute. It was a wonderful evening!
And because we don’t have enough stress, we’ve decided it’s time to get serious about downsizing – reducing our expenses and simplifying our lives some. So send us all the positive mojo for an easy process!